Mostly, I hate not catching myself before falling into your spell. I hate how you just “weren’t ready” for a relationship. I hate how we don’t speak to each other, not even casually catch up. Never will I understand how if things are good, they can’t just stay good. I’ll always treasure the laughs, the plans we spoke of, and the touches. Not a flaw, not a grey area, no confusion. Every minute we spent was sparklingly perfect. How can I still love someone who left me at my worst? Someone who couldn’t overlook my past, yet had more skeletons in their closet than I ever will? A person who made time for things when they “felt like it”?īecause beyond those obstacles, our time was precious. Sometimes, I believe we need a step back to regain our balance. Drown in the quicksand that is our differences. Being alone can be so wonderful at times because I get too suffocated. Yet, even without you, I cannot help but love your absence. My day lights up with you, but is darker than a city wide blackout when I’m without you. I am beyond ecstatic on one end, yet crumbling to pieces on the other. I cannot fathom love and the feelings it gives me. They say it takes 21 days to break a habit, but I can’t seem to quit you. You would think over time I would be over this. As months pass by, the communication grows more nonexistent. Another sleepless night filled with thoughts and weary eyes. I will always be grateful for that as I put one foot in front of the other on the path of life.It’s late at night. He’d be so much better off If I went away Though he loves to work and slave for me every day Before I start with the answer, I hope that you are doing better now and pray that you recover from this eventually. I’ve got that man crazy for me He’s funny that way I’ve got a man crazy for me He’s funny that way (Actually the person who entered it in Spotify got it wrong and called it Download song or listen online free, only on. English music album I Hate Myself For Loving You. Of course, Im not talking about people who are living in war torn communities in. I Hate Myself For Loving You song by Toni Amboajé now on JioSaavn. There’s another song that I’ve really started to love the last couple of years I think it is the only vocal performance on my Coleman Hawkins playlist. The truth is that no matter where you live, the location offers pros and cons. It’s a process but that doesn’t make implosion any easier to recover from. I’m still learning to love just as I am learning that I am loved. I didn’t invent the mess that is my life by myself. I know what it’s like to be “loved” by people who hate themselves. I used to think it didn’t matter how I treated myself but I was reminded that I am to love my neighbor as I love myself. I’ve been trying to learn to love me like he does but I’m not all that successful. The screaming vile hatred of me for me was cut down by a voice that reminded me that I was loved by the one who made me – just like I am – and who is not ashamed of me because He is in process of saving me from myself has been since before I even knew I was broken. I want to walk but I run back to you, that’s whyĪnd listened to it ‘til my ears bled (not literally of course). I crashed and burned on the inside and I found myself singing along with Joan Jett:Ĭan’t break free from the things that you do. And still there are days like today when I do something wrong, make a mistake – I’m not talking about sin here just poor judgement, bad decisions mixed with fear – and the door is opened for the voices to start yelling in my head again. I’ve been doing that now for I don’t know 26 or 27 years. I learned how to grow up, slowly and painfully. After the disaster I had to learn to see the voices for the unreality that they were. I Hate Myself for Loving You Joan Jett & the Blackhearts Bad Reputation (Music from the Original Motion Picture) by. It took disaster, an implosion to be exact, to get me to go toe to toe with the voices: The lies, accusations, criticisms, sarcasm and pessimism that formed my early days. They were the reason I learned to get high, get numb, get deaf…they never went away but I learned to drown them out with numbness and ZZ Top in the headphones turned to 11. Never good enough, never worth anything at least that’s what the voices used to say. Billboard Hot 100, Jett's third single to reach the Top 10, and her first since 'Crimson and Clover' in 1982. That used to be life 24/7 back when I was a child. About I Hate Myself for Loving You 'I Hate Myself for Loving You' is a 1988 song from Joan Jett & the Blackhearts and the first single from the album Up Your Alley. It was one of those mornings when the old me rises from the dead and tries to beat the hell back into me. I had one of those mornings the other day, ok the morning of this day.
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